


Untouched, Unloved

by thecattydddy



Series: Billy's Recovery [1]
Category: Marvel, Young Avengers
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Multi, Post Children's Crusade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 04:05:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7919842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecattydddy/pseuds/thecattydddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy is deep in his depression following Cassie's death. The world keeps spinning on around him, but for Tommy it's not spinning fast enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untouched, Unloved

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to experiment with writing something from Tommy's perspective. Getting down the quick subject changes I imagine him constantly running though is a little hard, but I think it turned out okay for a first attempt. Hopefully you guys enjoy and feedback is always welcome!

“ _Woah…_ _You guys could be..._ _Twins_.”

“Has he said anything, today, Ted?” The blonde glanced over his shoulder as Tommy appeared in the doorway, the air still settling around him. Tommy knew the answer before any words were exchanged, reading the sudden changes and micro-expressions as they passed over Teddy’s face. No, the answer was. No, he still hasn’t said a goddamn thing--

Tommy kicked the wall to take out some of his frustration, careful to do so at a snail’s pace lest he cause damage to the Kaplan’s pristine home. How nice it was. How carefully decorated and neatly set up like some kind of picture out of a magazine--

“Did he eat?” Tommy wondered, across the room now and flipping through a stack of _Homes and Gardens_ , trying to see if he could get a picture of this exact room, except the window seat would be empty and he could maybe convince himself Billy wasn’t still there--

He shouldn’t have looked. Even the quick glance that had immediately been turned back to the magazines had been too slow. He’d gotten a good look at his brother – It was Cassie that’d said it to him way back when. Sweet girl. A good kid who just wanted to make things better and now she was gone, dead, done-zo. She was dead and Billy blamed himself for it. He sat every day in that window and just stared like he had nothing else to do all day--

“Yes,” Teddy answered. “I got him to eat half a bagel.” It took Tommy a moment to retrace his internal monologue back to the question, his thoughts already shooting off in too many directions.

“A bagel,” Tommy scoffed, bitterness racing through his tone. Being in this room made him antsy. Being in this house made him feel useless. Being so close to his hurting baby brother and not being able to do anything made him feel like a failure. Tommy was suddenly standing next to him, placing a hand on Billy’s shoulders although it would cause no chance in the teen. It never did. “A breakfast of champions, eh Baby Bro?”

Except Tommy didn’t feel like anyone in that house was a champion. He felt like they were a little circle of broken pieces that had been perfectly fine, once. It wasn’t his fault – He wasn’t like Billy, he _knew better_ – but taking care of the team, of his baby brother, it was his _responsibility_. Cassie wasn’t his fault, but now he couldn’t even fix Billy. He couldn’t do anything here and it was driving him insane--

“Tommy, we should go.” It was a quick reply for Teddy, but not quick enough. Tommy was already anxious, fingers curling into Billy’s t-shirt like that would somehow keep him safe. As if it was a protection that Tommy could never truly promise. He couldn’t promise it when he had a younger kid clinging to him in juvie and he couldn’t do it now when his baby brother was forgetting how to hold on--

Teddy uncurled his fingers and put a hand on Tommy’s shoulder and pushed him towards the door, picking up Tommy’s backpack and settling it over the light-haired twin’s shoulder. He was practically lethargic in his movements, but he was firm and solid and Tommy let him lead them out of the room and out of the house where Tommy could find a breath he didn’t realize was missing. Tommy understood why Billy like Teddy so much and, while he couldn’t bring himself to see Teddy in that same light, he would be happy to call Teddy his brother--

“You’re gonna have to adopt, like, seven hundred kids some day,” Tommy pointed out, reaching out to ruffle Teddy’s hair even though the blonde was notably taller than him. “I won’t have kids of my own, but I gotta spoil someone rotten.”

Ah, babies. Untouched, untainted. He could show them a lot of love and shower them in presents and never have to worry about them facing hardships… At least until they grew up… But it wouldn’t be for a long time. Tommy would keep them shielded from the bad things in the world. They wouldn’t turn out like Billy, sitting in monochrome.

Cassie wasn’t his fault… She wasn’t his fault. She wasn’t his responsibility. She had more people there looking out for her than anyone. _She_ wasn’t being targeted. Billy was in trouble. Tommy had done his job, he’d tried his damnedest to protect his brother. His _baby brother_ who now sat alone and couldn’t bring himself to talk.

_It wasn’t his fault._

“Maybe one kid,” Teddy gave a small smile and Tommy flawlessly returned it right back to him, looking just the right amount of sad and amused to dispel any outward indication of his internal turmoil. “Just so long as you promise not to spoil them too much.”

“Ah, can’t promise that!” Tommy waggled his eyebrows, his tone taking on a joking hint that was far from what he was really thinking. His thoughts ran diagonal to this conversation, not along side it. If it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t fix Billy, then was it because he was too fragile? He didn’t want a niece or nephew like that. He needed a strong kid, someone who wouldn’t crumble like his baby brother. He can’t do that again. He _can’t_ \--

“If the baby is a girl, you should name her after Kate,” Tommy suggested. Kate was strong. She’d been closer to Cassie than anyone and she was fine, mostly. She didn’t sit staring out her window every day. Tommy wanted a niece like Kate, who wouldn’t do this to him.

“She would probably roll her eyes at us, all disgusted,” Teddy’s eyes twinkled slightly at the fantasy he was creating in his mind. “But you know she would be thrilled and would coddle it even more than probably you would.”

“Never!” Tommy gasped, mockingly shocked at such an idea. He didn’t want a niece like Kate, though. Kate was tough because she was hard on the inside. He wanted to keep them soft like Billy, he just didn’t want them to suffer. Billy Jr, maybe. Girls could go by the name Billy, right? That was a thing… Maybe if they got a boy--

“If it’s a boy, we would probably go with Thomas,” Teddy mentioned, off-handedly.

Tommy froze, everything suddenly slower than he usually could cope with, but this didn’t feel anxious or uncomfortable. It felt…

It felt touched.

“Really?” Maybe a touch to much fondness in there, but Tommy let it go this time.

“Absolutely,” Teddy answered, as if the question should have been a given. “You’re there for him when he needs you most, Tommy. Billy might not see it, now, but he will. Just give it time. Besides, you and our kid would probably get a kick out of it.”

Tommy laughed, more out of disbelief than anything. “Please marry my brother.”

“I plan on it, at some point.” Teddy nodded, a fondness covering his expression, but it was touched by sadness as well, as if he was imagining a dream that he knew would never become a reality.

“Good.” The sadness crept into Tommy’s bones and he couldn’t look at it, only reminded of his baby brother and how he could do absolutely _nothing_ to fix this. He had to get away from the sadness. It was starting to hurt him more than he could brush off. “Hey… _Race ya._ ” And he was off, not even waiting for a reply from Teddy.


End file.
